Bathroom Reading At Work, Man Sets Own Record
Chicago -
Looking for some peace and quiet to catch up on your reading? Try the bathroom
at work. That’s right. Scott Edmunds (Not his real name), an accountant for an
unnamed accounting firm in Chicago, recently read the entire Wall Street Journal
and the entire NY Times while on the john at work.
According Mr. Edmunds, he always takes some reading material with him when he
visits the bathroom both at work and at home. Normally at work, Mr. Edmunds will
just read one paper while taking care of his business. This past Friday was
different.
Feeling like he needed a break from work but short on vacation days, Mr. Edmunds
took both news papers with him to the john at 10am Friday and did not come out
until 2pm that same day. Mr. Edmunds told Red Tractor USA “This past Friday
was an exceptional day. Not only did I get a break from demanding clients and
overbearing bosses, I did so on company time and now I’m totally up on the
latest trends in business and current events in the world, plus I had something
like a half a day off.”
By his own account Mr. Edmund’s previous record for reading a paper on the john
at work was the entire Wall Street Journal. “When I first started in this
business, my bosses told me that if I expected to advance in the firm that the
Wall Street Journal was mandatory reading, but they never told me where to read
it.”
“Most of them try to read it while packed in on the train. I read it on the
john”
Mr. Edmunds first started reading in bathrooms while at home on the weekends.
The peace and quite obtained while reading in john at home was often the only
escape from the chaos of four kids and a “Honeydew List” with no end to it.
At work, Mr. Edmunds has been training off and on for close to year now by at
first reading a few stories and then graduating to individual sections of the
paper. It was only last month the he began reading two papers in one
sitting. Mr. Edmunds recalled, “Eventually I was really encouraged when I
realized that no one noticed that I was gone for a while. I guess if you leave
your computer on and your coat in the office, people assume that you are busy!”
He selects much of what he is going to read on the john based on what he had for
dinner the previous night.
According to Mr. Edmunds, the real beauty of reading two papers while taking a
crap was that “everyone knew that I was in the office but thought that I was in
a meeting, or that I just went to the bathroom for a minute. Little do they know
that I just received my MBA (Masters of Bathroom Administration) all in the
course of one day.”
When asked what the down side of reading two full papers in the john were, Mr.
Edmunds said that in general he was hard pressed to think of any but that the
leading issue he had was that some time the bathroom smelled a little bit and
the pizza delivery man was reluctant to deliver pizza to the men’s room.
Mr. Edmunds also stated that with a big stack of papers on the floor, he was
afraid at one point that his foot almost touched the foot of another man in the
stall next to him. He suddenly recalled when Senator Craig from Idaho was
arrested for soliciting prostitution for such an act.
When asked if he would attempt to break his new record of reading two newspapers
on the john at any time in the future, Mr. Edmunds stated excitedly that “Come
this winter I definitely could see trying to read three papers or the Wall
Street Journal and the Sunday edition of the New York Times.
By David Kruk
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