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Red Tractor USA is a news  satire and political satire site - fake news - all B.S           

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Red Tractor USA is a  news satire and political satire site - fake news - all B.S.  

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Bekins moving into the future

Chicago, IL –Bobzaguy  -The Bekins folks are bound to make moving a snap for their customers this time, for sure.  Compression is the new name of the moving game for this century-old company. Soon, the familiar semi-trailers will be parked for good. Computer giant Maxis, the developers of Sim City - the game for people who like to control everything - has teamed up with Bekins to revolutionize the moving industry. And wow. What a great idea!

Bekins Moving Truck

With the help of secret software algorithms, the friendly movers will walk through your house and compress everything you are wanting to move. Then they will pack it for you in special carrying cases and deliver it to your new residence. Sound familiar?  

Well, it is. With a little change. What once would take a semi-trailer to move a 3 BR 2 BTH with Den will now fit into a VW bug! That's right, a VW! And get this, a studio apt., once several van loads worth of space, now is only a backpack! And you don't even need Bekins to move it! You can carry it onto a plane and fly to your new home.

A 1 BR apt. - a backpack and an overnite bag; a 2 BR apt., - a weekender and an overnite; a 3 BR apt., - 2 weekenders. And this includes all the clothes, dishes, pots and pans, paintings and books.

It doesn't include pets. Yet.

Of course, you have to have the movers at the other end ready with their software to decompress your belongings, but they come out sparkling clean, no dust at all. And the clothes are pressed and folded as well.

"Ah," you say, "what's the cost of all this?" Well, not as much as you would think. Since the movers don't need trucks and lots of people to pack and carry and unpack, it is quite a bit less. And if you drive the vehicle yourself, they don't have to go along. Just have someone from Bekins meet you at the new address and zippo! you have moved!

In speaking with William Ralph Wright, the founder of Sim City, we found that he is awed by the application of his software concept to get people to move their belongings so easily. "I am awed by this concept" he said when pressed for a comment.

 

News Satire - North Korean President leads alternative lifestyle
Kim Jong II - Green Hair Pyongyang - While much is known about the nuclear weapons ambitions of North Korean President Kim Jong II, most Americans know very little about the actual man.   In an effort to change that, Red Tractor USA recently sent publisher David Kruk to North Korea to find out what really makes him tick. Full Story

 

News Satire - Senators vote to let Bush fight his own war

Bush To Fight In IraqWashington DC – Congress today  overwhelmingly voted to commit America’s Top Soldier to the Iraq war. By a 100 to 5 vote, the Senate overwhelmingly voted today to send George W. Bush to Iraq to let him fight his own war.    Full Story

 

 

 

 

 

    05/12/2008

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Past News Satire Headlines

American Family Flees To Mexico
Crazy Chicks
Glenn Beck Guns on campus
Greyhound Deterring Passengers and Terrorists
Marijuana Bongs Recalled
Mike Huckabee Meets Pat Robertson
Neighborhood Gone Bad
Pope Benedict's Secret
Salesman Gouges Church
Study: Trailer Trash Live In Trailer Parks
Unemployment Union Local 641 Goes on Strike
Viagra Lawsuit
Wal-Mart To Offer Sex Toys

Past Political Satire

Bill O'Reilly "I'm not a racist"
Bush Borders
Bush Economic Policy
Bush Education Program
Bush Torture Zcar
Carrot And Stick
Dick Cheney Naval Observatory
George Bush Boxing
Google NSA Join Forces
Homeland Security Duct Tape Auction
John McCain Running Mate: Danica Patrick
Laura Bush Smoking and Drinking
Waterboarding added to 2008 Olympics

Red Tractor USA Columnist

3AM Call To The White House
3AM Call To The White House
Brown Nosing
Corporate Dress Code
Excuses For Being Late To Work
Excuses for being late to work - Autumn
Looking Important at Work
Office Holiday Party Behavior
Office Holiday Party Behavior

Business Satire

Barbie Resigns From Mattel
Bathroom Time Monitored
Bekins Moving Into Future
Chinese Chopstick Recall
Depressing Office
Fast Walking Employee
Holiday Party At Wendy's
Home Depot Sales Person
Homeless Cell Phones
McDonald's Drive Through Outsourced
Problem Solving Flow Chart
Voice Mail Greeting Left on For 18 Months
Wal-Mart Layoffs
Yellow Posted Notes

Local News Satire

Arts and Crap Fair
Bike On Bus
City Sticker Controversy
College Graduate Unemployment
Corrupt Mayor
Do You Tell Your Doctor How Much You Drink?
Foie Gras Chicago
Fun banned at beach
Oil Change Parking Lot
Special Report: Things Not to do Drunk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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News Satire Disclaimer

Red Tractor USA is a news satire and political satire web publication.   All news articles contained within are fiction, fake news,  news satire, humor, political satire or general humor and satire news.  All names used are fictional except those belonging to celebrities and politicians.   Any resemblance to the truth is a pure coincidence in cases of news satire except for all references to George W. Bush, the Bush administration, Dick Cheney, and the White House.     Red Tractor USA is intended for a mature audience.   If our site is offensive in any way, please watch Glenn Beck or  Bill O'Reilly if you are more comfortable with lies, distortions and half truths.  If you have a sense of humor and enjoy news satire and political satire, please enjoy.  

 

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