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Senators Vote To Let Bush Fight His Own War

Washington DC Congress today overwhelmingly voted to commit America’s Top Soldier to the Iraq war.  By a 100 to 5 vote, the Senate overwhelmingly voted today to send George W. Bush to Iraq to let him fight his own war.    As approved by the Senate, this new measure calls for sending George Bush deep into insurgent-controlled Baghdad where the most United States military casualties have occurred. The House of Representatives also is expected to approve the legislature. 

George Bush As A Soldier

While this new mission was not exactly what President Bush had in mind when he recently announced plans to commit more troops to the Iraqi war, House Democrats were excited at the opportunity to send the President off to battle.  In passing this bill, the sentiment of the day in House of Representatives was that committing George Bush himself to fight in Iraq was the only option left for a President bent on further escalation of a misguided war.

After today’s vote, Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts told Red Tractor USA that, “Since we did not have enough votes yet to impeach George Bush, committing him to a very dangerous mission where it is possible that he would be killed, was the next best thing.” Others in Congress also indicated since President Bush has expressed absolutely no interest in discussing U.S. troop withdrawals from Iraq, sending him to fight himself was only appropriate.

Looking forward to casting her own vote, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi stated that “Since Mr. Bush’s recent message to us in Congress was that he was the one in charge of making decisions on the Iraq war, we felt it was appropriate for him to get closer to the battle so that he now will see first hand the death and destruction taking place in Iraq.” 

Keeping with Congress’ cost-cutting over the war, it was noted that George Bush already served in the US Air force once when he was younger. It is believed that he will only need one week of basic training before he is deemed prepared to fight in Iraq.    By fighting in Iraq, President Bush would be the first sitting President to see combat.

Once in Iraq, it is assumed that President Bush will live in the same quarters, eat the same rations, and use the same weapons as all of the other soldiers.   There is no word yet if Laura Bush will stay in Washington or volunteer on her own accord to assist in Iraq.  It is assumed that if interested, Mrs. Bush could readily start teaching orphaned Iraqi children. 

In his absence, Vice President Dick Cheney will run the White House.   For House Democrats who spearheaded this resolution, the ominous risks of allowing Dick Cheney to run the White House were outweighed by the benefits of sending George Bush to fight his own war.

Many in Washington feel that Dick Cheney already runs the White House anyway, so having him take over was acceptable.  While President Bush Is fighting in Iraq, it is assumed the Mr. Cheney will run the government from the White House and not an “Undisclosed location” as has been his preference in the past.

By David Kruk

 

 

 

 

 

06/05/2011

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News Satire Disclaimer

Red Tractor USA is a news satire, political satire and political humor web publication.   All news articles contained within are fiction, fake news,  news satire, political humor, political satire or general humor and satire news.  All names used are fictional except those belonging to celebrities and politicians.   Any resemblance to the truth is a pure coincidence in cases of news satire except for all references to John McCain, Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, the Bush administration, Dick Cheney, and the White House.     Red Tractor USA is intended for a mature audience.

 

 

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