Bush Pushes Napolitano On Borders
Washington
DC - Bobzaguy In a quick turn of immigration-related events,
President George W. Bush today sent for Giorgio Napolitano the current President
of Italy. The American president announced high-level immigration talks to
commence on Tuesday, February 12, just two days prior to St. Valentine's Day.
 "I
have no intention or desire to stop my work against illegal immigrants coming
across the borders of the US. I refuse to be a duck in this issue," the
president stated. Then he restated his remarks, "I refuse to be painted as a
lame duck on this issue."
He
continued "The Arizona border is just as porous as the one in Texas, believe me.
I was governor of Texas and I know a weak border when I see one. That doesn't
mean I am a lame duck."
When asked
how the Italian president would be helping, Mr. Bush said, "Well, I was told
that Napolitano is the governor of Arizona and he will surely be able to help us
with keeping people on the other side. Wouldn't you think?"
The
Secretary of State, Condolezza Rice, who had just learned of the summons for the
Italian president, whispered quickly to the president and his face reddened a
bit.
Stepping
back to the microphone, Mr. Bush said, "I guess there's some egg on my
scheduler's face now. I just learned that the Arizona Governor is a Democrat
woman by the same name of Napolitano which is the Italian guy's name by chance.
Boy will Addington be surprised when he discovers the egg on his kisser."
"I hear
that this Italian has the cool nickname of "Re Umberto" which I guess would be
"King Umberto" in I-talian. He's also named "Il principe rosso" ("The red
prince"), because he had a little run-in with communism in his early life. I
think I will call him "Umberosso" when he's here. Hope he enjoys it."
"Addington
found another Napolitano named Andrew, who is the youngest life-tenured Superior
Court judge in the history of the State of New Jersey. Who also works as the
Senior Judicial Analyst for the Fox News Channel. We gotta keep on top of these
Napolitanos, to be sure we can get these illegals to go back home somehow before
I leave office," said Bush.
There was
a slight backlash to the selective use of Napolitanos for this immigrant issue.
An objection was voiced right from the pages of a Latino recipe book. By a Flan
Napolitano which, as one of the most common desserts in Latin America and Spain,
wants representation on the immigration committee that is formed.
Flan
stated, "This is unacceptable, and has to change. Immigration reform legally
must be comprehensive and bipartisan to work. Everyone loves Flan, I can help
with this issue."
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Saying that he became a
slave to his penis when he was prescribed Viagra, Ohio resident John A. Wills
filed suit today in Seabury County court against Pfizer Inc., the makers of the
drug.
