Bush To Appoint
Torture Czar
Washington, DC
- Riding out the remaining 390 days left in his second term as president, George
Bush has proposed to add a new Torture Czar to his administration’s cabinet. As
proposed, the new torture Czar will have primary oversight of torture
administered by the CIA but will also oversee torture administered by all local
and federal agencies.
 The Torture Czar will work with CIA
director General Mike Hayden to ensure that CIA administered torture is
appropriate as related to the desired information that CIA agents are trying
obtained from detainees.
Announced at a news conference today
at the White House, the president's press secretary Dana Perino, told reporters
that “The Torture Czar will balance our national security needs with our
constitution. It is part of our national conscience to make sure that our
agencies tasked with protecting our citizens and fighting the war on terror have
the tools they need, while at the same time upholding the principles on which
our fine county is based.”
As outlined by the White House, the
Torture Czar will provide the guidelines tying specific techniques of torture to
specific types of investigations. The White House did not comment on whether
the Torture Czar would approve the controversial water boarding torture
technique if they felt it was warranted.
White House spokesman Perino did add
however, “The last thing that anyone wants to see is a detainee or prisoner of
war being water boarded for information that we already know.”
In addition to overseeing torture
administered by the CIA and other federal agencies, the Torture Czar will also
work with state and local enforcement agencies to make sure that any torture
methods that they use are in proportion to the crimes that they are
investigating.
The Bush administration envisions
that the Torture Czar will also have plenty of opportunities to work with police
departments in cities like Chicago and New York where torture has long been
conducted in back rooms behind closed doors.
Spokesman Perino told Red Tractor
USA “In addition to high profile CIA torture cases, there will be plenty of
opportunities to work with the metropolitan police departments to advice them on
all appropriate methods.” Perino added, “From what we hear in Chicago they
regularly whip a bunch of ass anyway so the Torture Czar will work with the city
to make sure the torture is administered publicly.”
The White House indicated by acting
proactively on this matter, they will be out in front on torture issues reported
by the press and also be in a position to save local and federal governments
money from lawsuits attacking the legality of secretly administered torture.
At press time the White House
declined to offer any names that they were considering to fill this position but
they told the gathered reporters that they hope to announce a candidate
soon.
Speculation in the White Hose
hallways included the names of Senator John McCain and Paul Wolfowitz.
By David Kruk
|
Saying that he became a
slave to his penis when he was prescribed Viagra, Ohio resident John A. Wills
filed suit today in Seabury County court against Pfizer Inc., the makers of the
drug.
