Cheneys Evicted from Naval Observatory
WASHINGTON DC, June 26 by Bob Rohden —In a rare governmental
move, the self-made non-executive Vice President and his wife were summarily
evicted from their government-supported residence at the US Naval Observatory in
Washington, DC today.
When Cheney claimed last week that his office is not part
of the executive branch, wheels in the GAO began to spin. Officials there said,
referring to the “Plum book” - a directory of office phone numbers/addresses in
the government, that Cheney’s statement would “automatically erase him from the
listing.” Anyone erased by the government is expected not to return to
visibility, according to a Presidential Signing Order, which oddly seems to have
been requested by Cheney when he claimed he was still Vice President in the
executive branch.
Since 1974, Number One Observatory Circle, a house
situated in the grounds of the observatory has been the official residence of
the Vice President of the United States. The observatory’s primary mission was
to care for the United States Navy’s chronometers, charts, and navigational
equipment. It calibrated Navy ships’ chronometers by timing the transit of stars
across the meridian.
When the presiding Admiral of the
Observatory was asked about the Observatory’s mission and its relation to the
resident of the house, he said “leaving a non-executive branch person in charge
of the transit of stars across the meridian during the night would be a definite
national security threat. Therefore, we sadly had to evict Dick and Lynn. They
were damn good tenants, too.”
As the US Senate has no legislative housing at its
disposal, the former executive branch VP and his wife have been listed with
several local real estate agents to quickly find an apartment in or around the
city. They of course could stay in their new Delaware mansion, but governmental
non-executives also lose their car privileges as well. He wouldn’t be able get
back and forth to wherever his office may be when no more armored limos, 5
police motorcycle escorts and SUVs are available.
An additional unwanted event happened just this morning
when the GAO ceased Cheney’s use of the executive “undisclosed location” bunker.
The only temporary home left to the Cheneys, who value their executive-like
perks of the office, finds them doing sleepovers in Air Force 2. That lease
expires tomorrow and Trump wants his plane back.
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