Excuses for being late to work - Autumn
By David M. Kruk
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Now that fall is upon us and winter is just around the corner it has occurred to me that the excuses for being late to work that we used this summer may no longer be practical as the seasons have changed. After all it, it would seem that most of the summer road construction projects are wrapping up so your old standby that “The road was down to one lane” may not work this time of year.
So hopefully the following “Autumn” excuses for being late to work, all excuses that I have heard from the technicians that report to me here at the hospital in New Jersey, may be useful to my fellow members of the American workforce.
Start in the morning. It is pretty dam dark now when I leave in the morning so this should be good for a few excuses. For starters, the “My clock failed to go off” excuse may actually carry some weight this time of year. Just tell you boss the clock failed to go off and it was so dark that you thought it was 4am. You can also try it was so dark this morning there was no way that I could leave my kid alone to wait for the school bus, what with child predators and all.
Now throw a little rain in the mix and you can’t go wrong. It’s 6am, dark and raining and drivers are acting like they never saw rain before. To boot, leaves are everywhere and the roads are pretty slippery. The boss should bite for this. Adding a snow shower (Ok, it was a couple flurries) into the excuse also works.
Also, regarding school buses, you can tell your boss that on almost every block of your commute there was at least one school bus stopped picking up kids with the red stop sign extended out on the left. Remind him that it is illegal to pass a buss when it is picking up children and that is why you where late for work.
Speaking of kids, now that school is back in session, you should be able to use the “My kid is sick excuse” fairly often. Just call the boss and tell him you will be there as soon as your mother-in-law can get there. No kids, no problem. Just tell your boss that you where baby sitting for your brother or sister while they are out of town and that your nephew came up sick and you had to wait for grandma to arrive.
For a different tactic, know your bosses favorite professional football team. College football will not work since they play Saturday. Tell him that after you went to the game yesterday (Sunday) the weather was so bad that you had to stay overnight and leave early this morning to get back. Do not mention the fact that you drank too much tailgating in the parking lot and could not find your car keys. Also, make sure you actually know the final score of the game and who won.
I not sure this one has much to do with the season but I have always liked it. Tell your boss that when picking up your coffee at the donut shop everyone in line was picking up donuts for their entire office and had to make sure to have a true variety of every single type and flavor of donuts represented in their dozens.
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