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Chicago stakes out borders in foie gras flare-up

Chicago,IL-Bobzaguy —Amidst the current Chicago City Council rethinking of the city-wide ban on foie gras, the Chicago police department has set up several secret road checks to monitor the movement of illegal foie gras into the city. Most notable are the off-ramps of the Edens Expressway at Peterson and Wilson Avenues, the first city exits on that road. This is where, it has been learned, that city residents have entered the city with illegal goose liver from the north shore. A number of north shore restaurants are in a foie gras pricing war that has driven prices down, some say by as much as 50%.

Foie Gras                         

Additional checkpoints are visible inbound on the Eisenhower Expressway from Oakbrook. These checkpoints are not stationary, as the police department has allowed them to “roll” or open and close at various locations, based on intelligence picked up from cell phone monitoring by city police. The city has been able to use this break-thru technology as a result of Terrorist Funds from the Federal government.

Most of the confiscated liver along the Edens and Eisenhower routes has been of the 1-3 slice size, usually in take-out clamshell containers from restaurants. Police officers have stated that many of these containers are quite warm, indicating recent preparation. One officer, asking for anonymity, said that what he was able to eat was very tasty and he doesn’t really like liver.

The Evanston police department has joined with Chicago in manning the South Boulevard checkpoint, as an anonymous phone call alerted that there is quite a large ring of foie gras smugglers slipping full-size livers through Evanston at that southern-most point. So far, only 2 full livers have been confiscated in Evanston. On closer inspection one was actually a duck liver and the second liver has been sent to a lab to determine its origin. Police thought it looked suspiciously like a pig’s liver. 

 

 

 

    05/04/2008

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Red Tractor USA is a news satire and political satire web publication.   All news articles contained within are fiction, fake news,  news satire, humor, political satire or general humor and satire news.  All names used are fictional except those belonging to celebrities and politicians.   Any resemblance to the truth is a pure coincidence in cases of news satire except for all references to George W. Bush, the Bush administration, Dick Cheney, and the White House.     Red Tractor USA is intended for a mature audience.   If our site is offensive in any way, please watch Glenn Beck or  Bill O'Reilly if you are more comfortable with lies, distortions and half truths.  If you have a sense of humor and enjoy news satire and political satire, please enjoy.  

 

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