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Red Tractor USA is a news  satire and political satire site - fake news - all B.S           

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Red Tractor USA is a  news satire and political satire site - fake news - all B.S.  

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Fred’08 becomes Fred’09

Lawrenceburg, TN, Sunday, Oct 18 –by Bobzaguy - Fred Thompson today announced that he would readjust his campaign and run for election to president in 2009, shaking off the pundits and pr staff members of the complete list of GOP presidential hopefuls.

Fred Thompson

“I find that trying to campaign with all this extra clutter completely blunts my message. I will therefore wait until the 2009 election comes around. I hope to rise to the top of that candidate list and win the office.” 

Spokesman Todd Harris said, to bolster Thompson’s decision, “it all came down to a decision between doing the election 2008 cycle or spending our time gearing up to win in 2009,’’ adding, “Fred opted to spend time winning 2009 as opposed to what the Beltway MSM expected of us.” For good measure, Mr. Harris added, “It’s not always about the Beltway pundits, you know.”

Immediately on announcing his 2009 candidacy, Mr.  Thompson departed with his trophy-laden wife Jeri and 2 kids in a big red bus home to Tennessee. The family intends to make a stopover at Dollywood for a nice long lunch and some relax time on the bumper cars. 

Quizzed further about the sudden change, Mr. Harris said, “I know it seems to go against popular thinking, but Fred seriously believes that the people who really want him to be president will wait until 2009 to vote for him.”

 

News Satire - North Korean President leads alternative lifestyle
Kim Jong II - Green Hair Pyongyang - While much is known about the nuclear weapons ambitions of North Korean President Kim Jong II, most Americans know very little about the actual man.   In an effort to change that, Red Tractor USA recently sent publisher David Kruk to North Korea to find out what really makes him tick. Full Story

 

News Satire - Senators vote to let Bush fight his own war

Bush To Fight In IraqWashington DC – Congress today  overwhelmingly voted to commit America’s Top Soldier to the Iraq war. By a 100 to 5 vote, the Senate overwhelmingly voted today to send George W. Bush to Iraq to let him fight his own war.    Full Story

 

 

 

 

 

    05/04/2008

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Past News Satire Headlines

American Family Flees To Mexico
Crazy Chicks
Glenn Beck Guns on campus
Greyhound Deterring Passengers and Terrorists
Marijuana Bongs Recalled
Mike Huckabee Meets Pat Robertson
Neighborhood Gone Bad
Pope Benedict's Secret
Salesman Gouges Church
Study: Trailer Trash Live In Trailer Parks
Unemployment Union Local 641 Goes on Strike
Viagra Lawsuit
Wal-Mart To Offer Sex Toys

Past Political Satire

Bill O'Reilly "I'm not a racist"
Bush Borders
Bush Economic Policy
Bush Education Program
Bush Torture Zcar
Carrot And Stick
Dick Cheney Naval Observatory
George Bush Boxing
Google NSA Join Forces
Homeland Security Duct Tape Auction
John McCain Running Mate: Danica Patrick
Laura Bush Smoking and Drinking
Waterboarding added to 2008 Olympics

Red Tractor USA Columnist

3AM Call To The White House
3AM Call To The White House
Brown Nosing
Corporate Dress Code
Excuses For Being Late To Work
Excuses for being late to work - Autumn
Looking Important at Work
Office Holiday Party Behavior
Office Holiday Party Behavior

Business Satire

Barbie Resigns From Mattel
Bathroom Time Monitored
Bekins Moving Into Future
Chinese Chopstick Recall
Depressing Office
Fast Walking Employee
Holiday Party At Wendy's
Home Depot Sales Person
Homeless Cell Phones
McDonald's Drive Through Outsourced
Problem Solving Flow Chart
Voice Mail Greeting Left on For 18 Months
Wal-Mart Layoffs
Yellow Posted Notes

Local News Satire

Arts and Crap Fair
Bike On Bus
City Sticker Controversy
College Graduate Unemployment
Corrupt Mayor
Do You Tell Your Doctor How Much You Drink?
Foie Gras Chicago
Fun banned at beach
Oil Change Parking Lot
Special Report: Things Not to do Drunk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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News Satire Disclaimer

Red Tractor USA is a news satire and political satire web publication.   All news articles contained within are fiction, fake news,  news satire, humor, political satire or general humor and satire news.  All names used are fictional except those belonging to celebrities and politicians.   Any resemblance to the truth is a pure coincidence in cases of news satire except for all references to George W. Bush, the Bush administration, Dick Cheney, and the White House.     Red Tractor USA is intended for a mature audience.   If our site is offensive in any way, please watch Glenn Beck or  Bill O'Reilly if you are more comfortable with lies, distortions and half truths.  If you have a sense of humor and enjoy news satire and political satire, please enjoy.  

 

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