Glenn Beck:
“Arm Students On Campus”
CNN TV show host Glenn Beck
today detailed on his program his ideas for arming college students on the
nations’ college campuses. Mr. Beck offered his plan in the wake of the recent
shooting deaths at Northern Illinois University in Dekalb, Illinois.
Fed up with colleges being
“Gun Free” zones, Mr. Beck proposed the distribution of guns to college students
through vending machines that could be located next to the soda pop and snack
machines on campus.
Mr. Beck stated, “Yes, I
think we need to arm college students and what better way than with a vending
machine. Prominently displayed gun vending machines could offer a variety of
different size pistols to students at a variety of prices.”
Since many college students
are strapped for cash, Mr. Beck suggested that gun manufacturers likely could be
counted on offering “Student discounts” or even free “Saturday night specials”
in return for advertisements placed on the vending machines and the chance to
influence, at a young age, the brand preferences for these future gun consumers.
Mr. Beck told his audience
of his hopes that the gun manufacturers could even offer guns painted with the
respective colors of each major university and that it would be cool if the
universities themselves sold holsters decorated with their school colors.
In addition to gun vending
machines, Mr. Beck also proposes that universities could work with gun
manufacturers to sell their weapons on “Protect your self” days, to be held once
a month on a rotating basis, around the country. Mr. Beck stated “Heck, I can
even see these being fun days were the NRA could partner with the universities
and the gun companies and set up target ranges like in the FBI movies with the
pop-up people, but were the students could be trained to spot the difference
between a crazed suicidal student and an undercover cop and drink beer at the
same time.”
And yes, Mr. Beck would
encourage universities to offer free classes to students on how to safely
maintain and fire weapons. He also suggested that gun manufacturers and the
NRA might offer to build indoor target ranges in return for naming rights for
the buildings and the offer to stock the gift shops with their products.
Mr. Beck also envisions
many fraternities actively recruiting gun owners and even hosting pistol parties
as a way of demonstrating their commitment to offering a safer college
experience to their pledges. “That right” stated Mr. Beck, “Think about the
members of that real serious fraternity in the move Animal House greeting
prospective pledges with marble and ivory handled revolvers stored in museum
like glass cabinets.”
Mr. Beck expressed
excitement of the image he had last night of guns being on every college
campus. “So now the next nut job who wants to go postal on a college campus
will know that almost every one is packing heat. And guess what, with the odds
stacked against them making a big statement, they will think twice about picking
colleges as their next target ranges.”
By David Kruk
|
The Torture Czar will work with CIA
director General Mike Hayden to ensure that CIA administered torture is
appropriate as related to the desired information that CIA agents are trying
obtained from detainees.