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Pills Force Man To Think Only About Sex, Man Sues

ViagraSaying that he became a slave to his penis when he was prescribed Viagra, Ohio resident John A. Wills filed suit today in Seabury County court against Pfizer Inc., the makers of the drug. Full Story

Deodorant Commercial Entirely Accurate

Deodorant ManLOS ANGELES, Ca. –  Justin White, 26, was pleased to find that upon waking up and applying copious amounts of Axe deodorant body spray to his hairless upper torso, his day unfolded exactly as depicted in a recent commercial he saw for the product. Full Story

 

Holiday Drive-thru Office Party At Wendy's                           

Columbus, OH  Do something fresh and delicious, as the ads say. This holiday season take your office party to the latest forum for fun, Wendy’s. That’s right, Wendy’s is looking for your office party business and then some.

Need a theme party? They have “The Frescata”; “The Old-fashioned Combo”; “The Super Value”; “The Baked Potato”; “The Garden Sensation”; just to name a few. And these parties can be a steal, with “The 99¢” a real deal!

Of course, you all know that the typical Wendy’s doesn’t have private dining facilities. Actually none of the 6,700+ USA Wendy’s have private dining. So, not to be dealt out without a bid, the corporate dining team came up with this idea: The Holiday Drive-through Office Party.

Get everyone in the office to carpool on party day and when you want your party to start, just drive your convoy of party cars into line at the drive-thru window. When you are asked by your host(ess), tell her(him) the name of the company and number of cars in line and which party theme you want to have. Wendy’s does the rest! It’s so easy!

As each car reaches the window, decorators trim the car with the appropriate balloons and streamers and (with advance notice) lovely strings of Italian lights as well. Then your food and drink order is given to each car and payment is received.

Once all cars are served, a special, electrified parking area is opened where you can park together and enjoy your party. Parking is at the very modest rate of $15 per office. And you can stay for a full hour without incurring any additional parking fees. Just plug in the lights and party on!

Sample pricing per person follows:

  • ·        Frescata™ Sandwich Party         $18.99 p/p

  • ·        The 99¢™ Party                   $10.99 p/p

  • ·        Old Fashioned Combos® Party      $19.99 p/p

  • ·        Garden Sensations® Salad Party   $15.99 p/p

  • ·        Super Value® Party               $13.99 p/p

  • ·        Stuffed Baked Potato(e) Party    $12.99 p/p

  • ·        Electric Parking                 $15.00/hr p/car

  • ·        Frosty™ and Beverages –one small beverage free with purchase

What a delightful way to begin the holiday season with the people who claim to be “…uncompromising in giving people what they deserve, and the defender of good taste for people everywhere.”

By BobzGuy

News Satire - North Korean President leads alternative lifestyle
Kim Jong II - Green Hair Pyongyang - While much is known about the nuclear weapons ambitions of North Korean President Kim Jong II, most Americans know very little about the actual man.   In an effort to change that, Red Tractor USA recently sent publisher David Kruk to North Korea to find out what really makes him tick. Full Story

 

News Satire - Senators vote to let Bush fight his own war

Bush To Fight In IraqWashington DC – Congress today  overwhelmingly voted to commit America’s Top Soldier to the Iraq war. By a 100 to 5 vote, the Senate overwhelmingly voted today to send George W. Bush to Iraq to let him fight his own war.    Full Story

 

 

 

 

09/26/2009

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Wal-Mart To Trim Payroll: Replaces Employees For The Second Time!

WalmartBentonville, Arkansas-Wal-Mart Corporation today announced a series of cost-cutting moves designed to decrease expenses and improve corporate profits.   In this latest initiative, Wal-Mart executives announced a plan to replace over 4,500 current employees with lower-paid newcomers.   Full Story test

 

Nation’s Pathetic Try Hard To Break Stereotypes, Fail

Pathetic ProtestWASHINGTON– Over 300,000 pathetic Americans nearly marched on Washington last Friday in an effort to shatter stereotypes that portray them as unable to organize, accomplish, or achieve, but instead didn’t. Full Story

 

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News Satire Disclaimer

Red Tractor USA is a news satire, political satire and political humor web publication.   All news articles contained within are fiction, fake news,  news satire, political humor, political satire or general humor and satire news.  All names used are fictional except those belonging to celebrities and politicians.   Any resemblance to the truth is a pure coincidence in cases of news satire except for all references to John McCain, Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, the Bush administration, Dick Cheney, and the White House.     Red Tractor USA is intended for a mature audience.

 

 

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