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Red Tractor USA is a  news satire, political satire and political humor site - fake news - all B.S.  

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Red Tractor USA is a  news satire,  political satire and political humor site - fake news - all B.S.  

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Red Tractor USA Tips For Tax Deductions

Heartland, USA – Thinking about deducting those drinks that you had Friday night as a business expense?  You are not alone.    Looking for some last minute tax deductions?  Well, we can’t help you, but we do have some tips on deductions to help you avoid the wrath of the IRS.  IRS 1040 Tax Form

First, just because you discussed work all night long Friday in the bar and specifically what a prick your boss is, does not mean that your seven Heinekens and three shots of tequila with your coworkers are tax deductible.   The fact that a client of yours was in the same bar, albeit in the back room shooting pool, does not change anything either.

Second, your home internet service is not tax deductible. If you actually work exclusively out your home and have a separate office you might think about deducting this.   But otherwise, just because you check your work email from home once in a while in between downloading songs and surfing for porn, does not mean you can deduct your high speed internet connection.

For that matter, do not think about deducting your cable TV bill either, even if all you do is watch that Cramer Mad Money guy all night.  Sorry, the IRS does not view “Cramer Mad Money” as investment advice.    While that clown may be entertaining, watching him obsessively is not a tax deduction even if he does help you make some money!

Also, if you are thinking about deducting your cable TV bill for all of the poker tournaments that you watch, you better be a professional poker player with some winnings to report and preferably from a state where gambling is legal.

Drive around for work a lot?   Don’t even think about deducting your parking tickets. Even if your best client is located in the city and he requires that you personally deliver items, you can not deduct your parking tickets.   The same goes for that boot thing you got after you racked up a grand of tickets. 

Thinking about deducting that trip to Cancun?  Think again.   No matter how stressed out from work you were prior to your week in Mexico, the IRS does not see stress reduction on a beach with a cold Corona as being tax deductible.   The fact that a client of yours was coincidently in the same airport at the same time, and you said hello to him, also does not change anything.

If you claim that you donate cash at church every morning, seven days a week, the IRS may bite for that one, but the almighty might catch on to you.   So you probably should avoid taking this deduction as well unless you are actually a priest.

 

 

 

 

 

06/05/2011

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News Satire Disclaimer

Red Tractor USA is a news satire, political satire and political humor web publication.   All news articles contained within are fiction, fake news,  news satire, political humor, political satire or general humor and satire news.  All names used are fictional except those belonging to celebrities and politicians.   Any resemblance to the truth is a pure coincidence in cases of news satire except for all references to John McCain, Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, the Bush administration, Dick Cheney, and the White House.     Red Tractor USA is intended for a mature audience.

 

 

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