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McCain Plans Vietnam Campaign Tour

WASHINGTON Presumptive Republican John McCain announced that in mid- August he will visit his former prison in Vietnam. Jill Hazelbaker, a spokeswoman for Mr. McCain said that there "will be interviews with the network anchors during this momentous overseas tour." She then quoted what one news executive said that, “If McCain went to Vietnam, all three anchors would jump at the chance to go with him.”

Ms. Hazelbaker continued "John is going to visit his former prison in Hanoi, North Vietnam which is now the local Hilton hotel. We have put together a number of people that he will interact with, reminisce with, play chess with, even spend the night with. We are planning a lot of important meetings and photo ops during this tour that will demonstrate that John McCain is a person who can hold his own. He will show in his words and actions that he is not a pushover."

Ms. Hazelbaker remarked further, "We want the public to see in this trip John's comfort level with himself. It is important to show his capacity to deal with the serious challenges that we face in this country. His interactions with other former prisoners and torturers there will be important to reveal that he knows what he is doing,"

“Hindsight is 20/20,” she said. "We want it to be known that Mr. McCain is not as intense as he is perceived to be and that he can be really, really funny.”

Mr. McCain's comment when asked about this sense of humor, “Apparently, Hazelbaker doesn’t know when I’m kidding,”

We next asked Mr. McCain about his true feelings that the news media are imbalanced in their coverage of the candidates during the primary season.

"It certainly didn't escaped me that the three network newscasts will originate from stops on Obama’s trip.” pre-empted Ms. Hazelbaker. "But we feel that it is unproductive to spend our time worrying about the way Obama is covered."

“This is going to be John McCain’s first return trip to his prison, and we feel this is a story that we want to be covered big time,” said Hazelbaker. “His positions and the public’s perception of him on national security issues are important.”

“It’s political season. The press is gonna pick at everything,” Ms. Hazelbaker said, "we had help making the visit a bigger story because Mr. Obama and the Democrats have repeatedly questioned Mr. McCain's credentials, keeping a running count of the number of days that have passed since Mr. McCain was last in Hanoi."

The campaign revealed that they also would dispatch the photographer Annie Leibovitz to accompany the presumptive candidate's tour to produce a spread for a Rolling Stone magazine issue.

By BobZaguy

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06/05/2011

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Red Tractor USA is a news satire, political satire and political humor web publication.   All news articles contained within are fiction, fake news,  news satire, political humor, political satire or general humor and satire news.  All names used are fictional except those belonging to celebrities and politicians.   Any resemblance to the truth is a pure coincidence in cases of news satire except for all references to John McCain, Sarah Palin, George W. Bush, the Bush administration, Dick Cheney, and the White House.     Red Tractor USA is intended for a mature audience.

 

 

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