Laura Bush’s Latest Book Title: “The Pleasures of Masturbation”
Chicago - Laura Bush today announced the publication of
her second book entitled The Pleasures of Masturbation. Appearing on the Oprah
Winfery show in Chicago, Mrs. Bush revealed to the audience of mostly women, her
latest publication.
Mrs. Bush’s new book is decidedly geared towards a different market than her
previous endeavor. In April of this year Mrs. Bush and her daughter Jenna
authored a children’s book called ‘Read All About It!”.
When asked why now a book on Masturbation, Mrs. Bush told Oprah, that “While
I absolutely adore children and children’s literature, I also adore masturbation
and felt that as First Lady, since I have not done much else, I could open a new
dialog about sex and masturbation with American women.”
As described by Mrs. Bush, her latest book provides a
timeline of her various introductions and experimentation with masturbation and
her on-going affinity for the sex act as well as outlining in her mind many of
the advantages and justifications for women that masturbating has to offer.
While Mrs. Bush encouraged Oprah viewers to read her book, she also was excited
to share some of her thinking on the subject with them.
First, as a conservative religious woman, Mrs. Bush
described how young women today could, through masturbation, experience both sex
and abstinence at the same time. Mrs. Bush told Oprah “Masturbation represents
the best of both worlds for young women today. They can enjoy the pleasures of
sex and at the same time save themselves for the man they will marry.”
Secondly, Mrs. Bush told the applauding audience that
masturbation is completely safe and an excellent way to avoid sexually
transmitted diseases. Mrs. Bush described how, through masturbation, women can
feel both fulfilled and protect their reputations at the same time. “I mean,
look at me,” Mrs. Bush told the Oprah. “I’m this librarian type and you know
what, I get more than any woman I know. While it may be mostly all by myself, I
have maintained an honest marriage and a holy reputation while always being
sexually fulfilled.”
Displaying a sense of humor rarely displayed in her seven
years as First Lady, Mrs. Bush told Oprah “Look, some men should read this book
too. And I can think of one former resident of the White House who would have
been well served by self gratification. I mean this stuff is scandal free and
you would never get impeached for it.”
Mrs. Bush also told Oprah to tell women out there that
there is not a better time to start masturbating. With the economy being the
way it is and stress levels on the increase, due to high unemployment and
increasing debt, masturbation is a great way to cope with stress. Mrs. Bush
added that “with out going into great detail, masturbating is free or real
cheap. From what I hear even Wal-Mart sells sex toys these days.”
When asked by Oprah how her husband, President Bush, felt
about her writing this book on masturbation, Mrs. Bush stated, “George has been
very supportive of me on this, and he is the first to admit that being President
of the United States can be a stressful job. When you carry the weight of the
world on your shoulders, one’s sexual performance may suffer.”
Saying that he became a
slave to his penis when he was prescribed Viagra, Ohio resident John A. Wills
filed suit today in Seabury County court against Pfizer Inc., the makers of the
drug.
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