The Best News Satire In The Field

God's Unconditional Love Officially Terminated

Mass panic ensued among Christians last Sunday when God issued a formal statement from Heaven saying that His pure and sublime love, on which millions of people depend, will no longer be provided unconditionally. Full Story

Man Sets Own Record Reading Two Newspapers In Bathroom At Work

Looking for some peace and quiet to catch up on your reading?  Try the bathroom at work. A accountant in Chicago, recently read the entire Wall Street Journal and the entire NY Times while on the john at work.  Full Story

Ku Klux Klan To Burn Eco-Friendly Crosses

In what has been dubbed the "green hate" movement, the Klu Klux Klan has unanimously resolved to burn only the most environmentally friendly crosses in an effort to make the world a more beautiful place to hate kikes and negros.  Full Story

Old Joke Keeps Getting Funnier, Scientist Baffled

Chicago, IL.- Humorologists at The University Of Chicago, where fun goes to die, are currently wrestling with what appears to be an old joke that continues to get funnier with each and every telling.  Full Story

DOT Approves Asshole Lane For Nation's Freeways

American drivers nationwide gave a collective cuss of relief when the US Department of Transportation announced its approval for a building project that would add designated asshole lanes to all the nation’s freeways by 2010.  Full Story

Nation’s Pathetic Try Hard To Break Stereotypes, Fail

WASHINGTON– Over 300,000 pathetic Americans nearly marched on Washington last Friday in an effort to shatter stereotypes that portray them as unable to organize, accomplish, or achieve, but instead didn’t.  Full Story