How
To Look Busy At Work
By David Kruk
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Well I am still
employed ! So things can't be to bad. Every day when I am having my coffee and donuts, I have still been reading about massive layoffs and wonder if the ax will ever fall over here. So today I am going to try to offer assistance to the working men and woman of America on how to look busy at work.
My theory here is that half my managers don't even know my name and many do not have a clue what I do. They are to busy playing solitaire on their computers to be bothered and are happy as long as they don't get any complaints about my team.
So you ask, what is my secret. Look busy, no matter how little work you do. Over my many years of thankless employment I have been a keen observer and collector of the tools required to look busy.
At the all time top of my list is the yellow legal pad. 8 and 1/2 x 11 will also do. Having one of these babies in your hand always works. The "On the way to an important meeting look" has never failed me yet. I even take one of these guys to the can with me. And some times if I am leaving early, I take one pad and a 3 ring binder stuffed with shit, with me to my car. This way, if the big boss or one of the other 20 managers sees me going out the door at 3pm, they think I am going to an off site meeting.
Another good one is a flashlight! Size does not matter here, although one of police officer types that are a foot long are great (The kind that the cops in LA kicked Rodney King's ass with). The boss sees you with that thing and he knows you must be looking for something. You can also add a couple screw drivers in your other hand to really cement this one.
Also a favorite is the old pencil in the ear. One in both ears is really a killer. If that does not work for your, try carrying a FedEx letter size envelope around.
Other fall backs include, a printer cable or a couple boxes. After all, why would you carry around a cable if you where not on the way to hook up a printer. The boxes are great. Always impressive to be perceived as receiving a few items.
If you are really desperate, ladders are great! A little bulky, but they never fail.
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