Microsoft Opens "E-Gates"
On
Mexico / US Border
Laredo, TX – Returning from a recent business conference on immigration in Mexico City,
Microsoft Chairman William Gates, the world’s richest man, flew over what will
become the new “RioGrande BushWall” near Laredo, Texas. Having told reporters in
Mexico earlier, “I’m a big believer that freedom is a good thing,” he also noted
that flexibility of movement for skilled workers in his company could be a
little important.
Super-rich Microsoft Chairman Gates expressed great concern at U.S. plans to
build this security fence along the border. Gates said he was amazed that tens
of thousands of Mexicans sneak into the US every year “...just for a job.” He
thought it was very important that people with any skills should be able to come
in. “What would we do without them”, he asked quizzically.
Speaking for his company, Bill Gates then announced to the press, as they toured
the Microsoft-built mock-up of the fence, that Microsoft would introduce the
radically new “high-skill” e-Gates® to be built into the fence. The e-Gates®
design is powered by Microsoft’s X-Box 360. He explained how the new e-Gates®
would employ internet game strategies within the locking mechanism of the gate.
Each person wanting to enter the US by way of “BushWall” must use his own x-Box
gamer control to successfully win the 3-level prison entry game installed in the
gate.
Stepping up to the gate, he deftly switched on the X-Box 360 controller and
handed it to a migrant waiting in line to cross over. Within 3 minutes the gate
mechanism buzzed, printed a certificate and the young man high-fived his way
across the border and into his new country. Gates hired him on the spot as a
games consultant.
Aspiring gamers
without X-Box 360 controllers will be able to purchase one at the e-Gates® Gift
Shop by the new gate installation or online at
www.e-gates.com.
On winning, the new e-Gates®
automatically slides open and prints a certificate proving the “high-skill”
talent level of the entrant. This guarantees citizenship in more or less 5-10
years, about the same time as it routinely takes workers at the Microsoft firm
to get a green card. He declined to comment on what they would be doing during
the 5-10 year waiting period.
Mr. Gates touts his company’s
revolutionary e-Gates® invention as not only legal, but a fun and instructive
way for immigrants to get past the border guards and National Guard troops. It
is also a novel method of reducing the need for these guards in the first place.
They will all be able to go back to Washington DC and resume their work as
Senate and House pages, another thankless, but much-desired job that has gone
begging recently.
Visiting Mexico last week,
President Bush continued to speak of his support for an overhaul of immigration
laws that would include a temporary guest worker program. He didn’t seem to have
any opinion about Bill Gates’ ideas of giving more flexibility to higher-skilled
foreign workers. When asked about it, he said “What's this about a gate? Heck, I
welcome any new border technology. So we are clear. Are we clear?”
By
Bobzaguy
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