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Red Tractor USA is a news  satire and political satire site - fake news - all B.S           

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Red Tractor USA is a  news satire and political satire site - fake news - all B.S.  

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American Family Flees To Mexico
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O’Reilly, “I’m not a racist, I am close to many black people.”

New York< NY- David Kruk – Responding to critics who claim his recent review of famed Harlem restaurant Sylvia’s was racist, Fox TV host Bill O’Reilly told Red Tractor USA “I’m not a racist, mother fucker, I am close to many black people. The recent flap over this is just plain stupid and it is being fueled by the same radical left wing liberal white people that support that woman Hillary Clinton and that Barack Obama fellow.”

Bill O'Reilly

Mr. O’Reilly’s comments were deemed to be an attempt to offset public opinion after he stated on his September 19 radio show “couldn’t get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia’s Restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City.”

Later O’Reilly told NPR correspondent Juan Williams that “There wasn’t one person in Sylvia’s who was screaming, ‘mother fucker, I want more iced tea.’”  

For starters, O’Reilly said that he and his family have grown very close to their black house keeper of the last fifteen years Mrs. Ella Thompson.   “Mrs. Ella, as we call her, has grown to be a part of our family.  The fact that she is African American mostly goes unnoticed in our house.  It’s not like she sits around and swears all day or cooks soul food for us.” Bill O'Reilly Cont.

Pills force man to think only about sex, man sues

Stonecastle, Ohio-Bobzaguy   Saying that he became a slave to his penis when he was prescribed Viagra, Ohio resident John A. Wills filed suit today in Seabury County court against Pfizer Inc., the makers of the drug.

Viagra

“These little blue diamonds are playing havoc with my thoughts” said Mr. Wills, a creamatory operator. “As I have got older, my wife is complaining about me and our personal sex things, so I saw my doc and he gave me this prescription for Viagra 100mg. Well, I have to admit they do work the way the instruction video says that’s for sure. Wow, is she happy.”

So why the lawsuit? “Well,” continued Wills, “you see it’s this way. I take a pill about 5 in the morning. The wife likes to start her day with ... well, you know ... a little fun. Then, about 7 or so, I go to work. It’s a 25-minute drive on a good day. And I have begun to have these kinda hot, day-dreaming periods as I am driving. Twice already I have almost hit a tree; and once I just about ran into a semi full of chickens.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    05/04/2008

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Past News Satire Headlines

American Family Flees To Mexico
Crazy Chicks
Glenn Beck Guns on campus
Greyhound Deterring Passengers and Terrorists
Marijuana Bongs Recalled
Mike Huckabee Meets Pat Robertson
Neighborhood Gone Bad
Pope Benedict's Secret
Salesman Gouges Church
Study: Trailer Trash Live In Trailer Parks
Unemployment Union Local 641 Goes on Strike
Viagra Lawsuit
Wal-Mart To Offer Sex Toys

Past Political Satire

Bill O'Reilly "I'm not a racist"
Bush Borders
Bush Economic Policy
Bush Education Program
Bush Torture Zcar
Carrot And Stick
Dick Cheney Naval Observatory
George Bush Boxing
Google NSA Join Forces
Homeland Security Duct Tape Auction
John McCain Running Mate: Danica Patrick
Laura Bush Smoking and Drinking
Waterboarding added to 2008 Olympics

Red Tractor USA Columnist

3AM Call To The White House
3AM Call To The White House
Brown Nosing
Corporate Dress Code
Excuses For Being Late To Work
Excuses for being late to work - Autumn
Looking Important at Work
Office Holiday Party Behavior
Office Holiday Party Behavior

Business Satire

Barbie Resigns From Mattel
Bathroom Time Monitored
Bekins Moving Into Future
Chinese Chopstick Recall
Depressing Office
Fast Walking Employee
Holiday Party At Wendy's
Home Depot Sales Person
Homeless Cell Phones
McDonald's Drive Through Outsourced
Problem Solving Flow Chart
Voice Mail Greeting Left on For 18 Months
Wal-Mart Layoffs
Yellow Posted Notes

Local News Satire

Arts and Crap Fair
Bike On Bus
City Sticker Controversy
College Graduate Unemployment
Corrupt Mayor
Do You Tell Your Doctor How Much You Drink?
Foie Gras Chicago
Fun banned at beach
Oil Change Parking Lot
Special Report: Things Not to do Drunk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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News Satire Disclaimer

Red Tractor USA is a news satire and political satire web publication.   All news articles contained within are fiction, fake news,  news satire, humor, political satire or general humor and satire news.  All names used are fictional except those belonging to celebrities and politicians.   Any resemblance to the truth is a pure coincidence in cases of news satire except for all references to George W. Bush, the Bush administration, Dick Cheney, and the White House.     Red Tractor USA is intended for a mature audience.   If our site is offensive in any way, please watch Glenn Beck or  Bill O'Reilly if you are more comfortable with lies, distortions and half truths.  If you have a sense of humor and enjoy news satire and political satire, please enjoy.  

 

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