Palin To Offer Sarah Barracuda Line Of Lipstick
Cleveland, OH. – Alaska Governor and GOP VP candidate Sarah Palin today
announced her plan to sell a “Sarah Barracuda” line of lipstick. Gathered at a
Cleveland hotel, with John McCain at her side with a glowing smile of school boy
with a crush, Mrs. Palin told reporters of her plans to start selling a full
line of lip gloss.
Hoping to capitalize on a wave of popularity, fresh after her speech at the
republican convention two weeks ago in which she told GOP faithful that the
“Difference between a hockey mom and a pit pull is lipstick.” Mrs. Palin hopes
to have her lipstick line in retail stores by November 4, kicking off both a
post presidential election celebration for John McCain and herself and also in
time for the holiday shopping season at the same time.
In the mean time Mrs. Palin will be passing out free samples at campaign stops
across the country.
Funded by a wealthy GOP business man whom she met at the convention last week,
Ms. Palin's lipstick company will be based in Wasilla, Alaska and will feature
her hand-picked favorite lipstick colors. According to Ms. Palin, her lipstick
will be me made by regular, hard working, rural folks like herself and sold to
hockey moms and rural women across the county and in Canada.
Though her distribution channel has not been finalized yet, Ms. Palin envisions
her lipstick being sold at the likes of Wal-Mart and Fleet and Farms. Ms. Palin
told reporters that she would like to have “Sara Barracuda” lipstick counters
placed in Wal-Mart* near the gun department so that progressive woman like
herself could easily shop for both lipstick and ammunition for their guns at the
same time.
The flagship "Sarah Barracuda" lipstick will be a sexy maroon-colored lipstick.
Ms. Palin told reporters that “Rural woman interviewing for jobs will absolutely
love this Maroon lipstick. Wearing it will give each one of them the confidence
to obtain new positions they never could have imagined or even qualified for in
the past.”
Reportedly, Ms. Palin was wearing a Maroon lipstick when she interviewed with
John McCain for thirty minutes before being selected as Mr. McCain’s running
mate. It has been widely imagined that Mr. McCain told Ms. Palin after that
interview “I think the United States can use a woman like you” as he exited her
office zipping up his pants.
Ms. Palin also is positioning her "Sarah Barracuda" line of lipsticks for use by
“Hockey Moms” across the country. Ms. Palin told reporters that armed with her
sassy red lipstick, “Hockey Moms” in both red states and blue states will see
their sons finding more ice time with the first string once the coach catches a
glimpse of mom’s “Sara Barracuda” lips.
“As a matter of fact” Ms. Palin continued, “Women, if you really want to drill
for some oil, my 'Sarah Barracuda Red' is a must. It's guaranteed to help you
bring home your catch!”
By David Kruk
|
Saying that he became a
slave to his penis when he was prescribed Viagra, Ohio resident John A. Wills
filed suit today in Seabury County court against Pfizer Inc., the makers of the
drug.
Email To A Friend
