Undecided Voter Still
Undecided
St.
Louis, Missouri - That’s right. As of today, Thursday November 6, undecided
voter Jack Wilson is still undecided. While trying to reconcile the fact that
his mother accuses him of being a procrastinator with the fact the he still can
not decide who to vote for, Mr. Wilson is being very deliberate in his decision.
Reached in his basement apartment where he lives with his parents, Mr. Wilson 35
told Red Tractor USA that he can’t make up his mind who to vote for. He stated,
“I do have it narrowed down to John McCain and that Barack Obama fellow, but
that is far as I can go.”
A
closer look into Mr. Wilson’s decision-making process on this has revealed that
since he lost his job at Wal-Mart due to the slow economy, he has been forced to
make many hard choices such as whether to buy a bag of weed or pay his parents
some rent money. With that in mind Mr. Wilson stated that “I need another year
like this last year like I need brain cancer, and I feel that is what John
McCain would deliver. After all, do you have any idea how hard it is to get
laid when you are 35 years old and living at home in the basement with your
parents?
"But
on the other hand" Mr. Wilson continued, “I don’t mind passing a joint around at
a party, but that Obama guy wants to redistribute my vast fucking wealth.”
Additionally, Mr. Wilson indicated that he really digs Sarah Palin, he says "I
think she is real hot." His sparse apartment is decorated with several
pinup-like posters of Sarah Palin in a bathing suit holding a gun. When told
that these photos were largely rumored to be computer generated, Mr. Wilson told
us “I don’t believe that but I don’t care, because either way she has a great
rack and I think she's hot.”
When
told that the election was held yesterday and that Barak Obama was elected
President, Mr. Wilson seemed a little surprised but he also is proud that he is
not one to rush to judgment. “Listen” he stated, “Rome was not built in two
years, and the next president will be in office for the next four years, so
what's the fucking rush?”
By David Kruk
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