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Unemployment Union
Local 641 Goes on Strike
By
Brian K. White One of the most controversial labor
unions in the nation, the Union of Unemployed Workers, went on strike Wednesday
due to pay and benefit disputes. The union (over ten thousand odd workers
strong) began their strike by taking jobs in several cities throughout the
nation.
James Cameron of Falls City, Washington, began his support of the strike by
taking a job as a mechanic at the nearby Texaco station, stating "I support
unemployment but have to take a job until pay and benefits for the unemployed
improve."
Cameron is not alone in his disdain for labor and pay practices against the
unemployed. Frank I-Hate-Reporters-Like-You of Sioux City, Iowa complains that
"sitting home watching Jenny Jones while yelling at my old lady and six kids
just don't pay like it used to." Despite the $486 cash plus $703 in food stamps
and approximately $1912 a month of family medical coverage Frank continued, "it
just don't cover my Miller High Life and, without that, life just ain't worth
livin'."
 Union
steward Mario Ramano of Local 641 represented, "The constitutionality of our
workers' union is constantly at stake because of the claim that a labor union
should be made up of people who actually perform labor, but anyone who's ever
watched a Springer marathon and passed out on the hammock will tell you this
occupation ain't exactly a picnic."
Nationwide, thousands have sought and obtained gainful employment in protest to
the poor conditions suffered by the unemployed. Union organizers believe
government agencies who are collectively saving an estimated $17 million a day
will come around and concede to the pressures brought about by this strike.
In a related story, Judge Judy's ratings have fallen 86% since Wednesday and
drunk midday sex had dropped 46%.
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Government study: trailer trash live in trailer parks
 Washington DC, David
Kruk - The
Federal Office of Minimum Living Standards (OMLS) recently concluded a two year,
multi million dollar study of mobile trailer parks. The findings of this study,
outlines how mobile home trailer parks are populated with red necks, trailer
trash. hookers, petty criminals and convicted sex offenders.
The report published last
month concludes in most cases almost all residents of trailer parks are red
necks. While the report does not indicate how this came to be, it verified that,
on average, seventy-five percent of residents in most trailer parks were poor
white people known as red necks. Trailer
Trash Cont.
Pills force man to think only
about sex, man sues
 Stonecastle, Ohio- Bobzaguy -
Saying that he became a
slave to his penis when he was prescribed Viagra, Ohio resident John A. Wills
filed suit today in Seabury County court against Pfizer Inc., the makers of the
drug.
“These little blue diamonds are playing havoc with my
thoughts” said Mr. Wills, a creamatory operator. “As I have got older, my wife
is complaining about me and our personal sex things, so I saw my doc and he gave
me this prescription for Viagra 100mg. Well, I have to admit they do work the
way the instruction video says that’s for sure. Wow, is she happy.”
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