Pills force man to think only
about sex, man sues
Stonecastle, Ohio- Bobzaguy -
Saying that he became a
slave to his penis when he was prescribed Viagra, Ohio resident John A. Wills
filed suit today in Seabury County court against Pfizer Inc., the makers of the
drug.
“These little blue diamonds are playing havoc with my
thoughts” said Mr. Wills, a creamatory operator. “As I have got older, my wife
is complaining about me and our personal sex things, so I saw my doc and he gave
me this prescription for Viagra 100mg. Well, I have to admit they do work the
way the instruction video says that’s for sure. Wow, is she happy.”
So why the lawsuit? “Well,” continued Wills, “you see it’s
this way. I take a pill about 5 in the morning. The wife likes to start her day
with ... well, you know ... a little fun. Then, about 7 or so, I go to work.
It’s a 25-minute drive on a good day. And I have begun to have these kinda hot,
day-dreaming periods as I am driving. Twice already I have almost hit a tree;
and once I just about ran into a semi full of chickens.”
“ You see I am actually thinking about the great sex I have
just had and now I can’t even focus on driving,” Wills continued. “This drug is
taking my thinking abilities away from me and I am sure I am going to die. At
least.”
Asked if he was also having problems driving with such a
drug-induced obstruction, he replied, “Oh yea, I almost forgot about that part.
I can’t seem to turn corners very well, and sometimes I can’t shift into reverse
either.”
“Once I get to work, I have to be real careful for several
hours,” related Mr. Wills, “it is almost noon sometimes before the drug wears
off and I can even walk around, let alone start thinking about my job without
showing a red face. The boss’s wife looks real suspicious at me some days, like
I have a disease or something.”
"So my attorney brother-in-law says that I should be able to
get some relief, that's his word, about this situation. At least that's what he
thinks, and I agree with him," said Wills. "Why shouldn't they pay something.
That's what I think too."
No one was available at Pfizer, Inc. for comment at this time
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Government study: trailer trash live in trailer parks
 Washington DC, David
Kruk - The
Federal Office of Minimum Living Standards (OMLS) recently concluded a two year,
multi million dollar study of mobile trailer parks. The findings of this study,
outlines how mobile home trailer parks are populated with red necks, trailer
trash. hookers, petty criminals and convicted sex offenders.
The report published last
month concludes in most cases almost all residents of trailer parks are red
necks. While the report does not indicate how this came to be, it verified that,
on average, seventy-five percent of residents in most trailer parks were poor
white people known as red necks. Trailer
Trash Cont.
Marijuana Bongs Recalled
 San Francisco CA, -
David Kruk –
Bongs-R-Us, the nation’s leading bong manufacturer, today recalled one million
bongs. The reason for the recall: The bong users have reported that they are
not getting high. College students and other marijuana smokers across the
country have flooded the company’s switchboard with calls stating that they have
been failing to achieve a good buzz since they started using the company’s
latest bongs.
Every caller reported having purchased a Bongs-R-Us bong in 2007 via local head
shops or via the internet. All of the bongs reported have “Bongs-R-Us-2007”
inscribed on the bottom. Marijuana
Bongs Cont.
Pills force man to think only
about sex, man sues
Stonecastle, Ohio- Bobzaguy -
Saying that he became a
slave to his penis when he was prescribed Viagra, Ohio resident John A. Wills
filed suit today in Seabury County court against Pfizer Inc., the makers of the
drug.
“These little blue diamonds are playing havoc with my
thoughts” said Mr. Wills, a creamatory operator. “As I have got older, my wife
is complaining about me and our personal sex things, so I saw my doc and he gave
me this prescription for Viagra 100mg. Well, I have to admit they do work the
way the instruction video says that’s for sure. Wow, is she happy.”
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