McCain to outsource cabinet and agencies

Senate Cloak Room,
Washington D.C. –bobzaguy
Today Senator and Republican Presidential Hopeful John McCain announced that he
would, if elected president, immediately begin to outsource the cabinet and
their respective agencies.
In an informal press
conference while changing from his campaign coat to his Senate cloak for a vote
on the Senate floor, Senator McCain said that he would begin with the important
departments of State and Defense and move quickly to the Housing and Education
departments as well. John
McCain Outsource Cont.
Bush claims global warming
success

Washington D.C.
- BobZaguy
President Bush told a much smaller than usual news conference today that the
“spat about global warming has met a successful end, another mission
accomplished” for his administration, in his words. His announcement was made at
the National Weather Center, a little-known government basement office hidden
back behind Hoover’s FBI building.
The president backed
up his remarks by pointing to a series of current and recent past weather charts
from November ‘07 – February ‘08 as his first examples.
Global Warming Cont.”
McCain announces running mate: Danica Patrick

Baghdad, Iraq – BobZaguy Speaking at a press
conference at the Baghdad Airport while waiting for the unannounced arrival of
Vice President Cheney, who officially was listed as being asleep in a hotel in
Jerusalem, Senator John McCain and his two close political allies, Senator
Joseph Lieberman, independent of Connecticut, and Senator Lindsey Graham,
Republican of South Carolina chatted with reporters traveling with the
delegation on their non-political fact-finding mission.
The three senators are also visiting Israel, London and Paris. Mr. McCain has
said the trip is not primarily political. He told the reporters: “I do want to
emphasize again that the three of us are here as members of the Armed Services
Committee.” Running Mate Cont.
The 3AM call in the White House

By David
Kruk - Red Tractor USA Editor In Chief
Now that Hillary Clinton
has staked her White House presidential bid on the premise that she is the best
equipped candidate to take “That 3am call in the morning” I can’t stop imagining
3am phone calls to the White House for the different candidates and the current
president, George W. Bush.
First,
since Hillary started it – I will start with her. Phone ringing, “What time is
it Bill? Heck it’s 3am, I’ll get it. Hello, hello, …who is this?" [audible
gasp] “Bill, I think it's ‘That Woman’ and she sounds drunk.”
3AM Call Cont.
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